Saddle up, Sunshine!

Bugger me I got it wrong. I presumed to think that I had it all figured. Well I did. A part of it anyway. And I made it into a book (well booklet – I did say it was like Mr Men – so it does big letters too!). And I thought, right tie it together with several more of these booklets and you’ve got a best seller.
Wrong. Sooooo wrong. So much like pulling ones hair out through ones grannies bath mat wrong.
So what now – and why?

Well maybe the why is easier to answer – I’m fed up. I had this dream of an easier life every day. Don”t get me wrong – I wasn’t as foolish to think that by day 15 I’d be drinking tequila daquiris on some tropical island with nothing left to do…no….that was day 32 ;0)
So what was going so horribly wrong that the daquiri was now feeling like a very distant and unreal dream?
Me. I felt like shit. I was using up all my energy to get things moving in the house. I felt like everyone in the house didn’t give a shit about how it looked and how to make it better. I could see so much work to be done and no way of getting it done other than doing it (and screeching) or screeching (and it getting done).
And what was worse – I couldn’t see that what was happening was actually making it better. I couldn’t see the improvement!

Aaaarghghghghghghgh. That is when I discovered something that I’ll come back to…I might just be a little bit (I hear Andy sigh in exasperation), okay a big bit of a perfectionist…but more about my psychological nutterisms later…

Back to the what now?  Well now that I have spent some time wallowing in self pity, chocolate and futile re-arranging of furniture – it is now time for me to either quit the idea of an easier life every day or to get back on the horse, park my arse on the saddle and instead of hanging on for dear life – this time I’m going to take it easy.  No one wants more of a thrills and spills adventure ride in life than me – but doing it over the mess in my house with the outcome being the buried remains of my lovely sloth family is probably not the way to do it…It’d certainly relieve some stress though!

So I am now a lot happier now that I have started to stop bashing my head against a brick wall.  I don’t know exactly where I’m going, but now I know that I have a map that marks X as somewhere over the distant horizon.  So I can take my time finding my way there.  I know that there will be some dead ends, reverses, defiles and cliff edges that knowing me I’ll probably fall off, whinge loudly about (don’t forget I am in training for my whinging POM status..) and make noises of frustration about.  But this time it’ll be more fun.  ‘Coz if this journey doesn’t  cause happiness then I’m thinking that there probably isn’t much point?

So here is to being happy, healthy and mad enough to really enjoy life!  See you next week with whatever ray of sunshine I discover along the way 🙂

Love

RachBH