See Now what happens: failure to put your needs first.

I went out last night – Can you tell?

P.s. I wish somebody would put an forward delete button on my ipad keyboard, but that is another story..

Anyhow back to the mess I’m responsible for on my bathroom floor. It wasn’t there 10 minutes before we were due to depart. In fact most of it was still in the car at about 5 minutes before we were due to depart.

And that was the latest time to depart to catch the bus. If we’d gone earlier we’d have had a drink in the pub before we got on the bus – which would have been a bonus.

I’m avoiding the confession….so on the floor is a mess that is entirely of my own creation because I avoid putting myself first. Problem is it makes me high maintenance (picture my hubby holding the hair dryer over my freshly painted nails at 2 minutes per departure time ;), receiving an instruction to fetch my many bags containing my makeup from the car at 4 minutes prior to departure time……and he has suffered this for 20 years – poor bastard, now as I’m writing I really feel for him – He must be exhausted!

So can I change – really change? Well logic tells me (as my inner self tells me not to listen) that it must be a habit that has served me in the past and that limits me in someway in my now and in my future. It must have a negative consequence that I can and must verbalise that affects now and my future. Then I need to be able to verbalise what my future would look like without this habit.

Oh I need to put the chicken in the oven and help washing the dog. I promised to do both. Crap! Dawning realisation I say yes and offer too much! Crap, crap, bugger. Bye!